If Everyone Is Special, Then Nobody Is

It is striking just how many movies and books are made about people who believe they have the need to hide their identities in order to keep from being condemned for who they really are. The fact that this concern appears over and over again, in a wide variety of different contexts, whether we are talking about children’s movies (like Mulan), superhero movies, and a great many other genres as well, suggests that this concern is widespread in our society. Since these concerns are not dealt with in a straightforward and open manner, they become twisted into other directions, filling our fictions and spilling over into many areas of our lives.

In many ways, this is not a new problem. There has always been a tension between freedom and equality. This tension does not only exist in the world outside of us, but within us as well. We want to belong and yet we want to be true to ourselves. If we pretend to be someone else that we are not in order to fit in, we are always insecure that we will be found out and that we will lose the love and respect of those around us. At the same time, though, we fear that if we are true to ourselves we will never be loved and respected for who we really are. And so we are driven by our fears and our insecurities, unable to be content with that we have or able to grasp and seize our deepest dreams.

At its core, these concerns are but one of the many manifestations of the conflict between the many and the one, and the threat of tyranny or anarchy. We feel trapped between our desire to be free, to be ourselves without restrictions, and between our hatred of injustice and inequality. If we choose equality without liberty we end up under tyranny, where our distinctions are denied and where we approach the state of beasts and not men. If we choose liberty without equality we end up in anarchy and chaos, unable to find any fellow feeling with people around us, no comfort in suffering, left to the tender mercies of those who have money and power and resources. All too often those are the only two options we see.

We are of the mistaken impression that if everyone is special than no one is. We view uniqueness or talents or abilities in a very narrow way, as positional goods that lose their value if they are widely spread. But at the same time we recognize that those who have obvious talents are often cut off from others by their uniqueness. We are therefore torn between our desire to be seen as special and our desires for fellowship, for connections, for intimacy with others. This tension can either lead us to neglect our own gifts or that of others because we do not want some to feel upset that they are not ‘special,’ or it can lead us to believe that our talents and abilities free us from the standards that everyone else has to live by, or from our responsibilities in looking after and helping others.

Is there a way to resolve this tension in a way that denies neither our freedom, our uniqueness, our special qualities, nor our equality before God under His law? Do we have to choose between one and the other or is there a way to appreciate the diversity of others and the gifts that they possess while at the same time we see ourselves as partners and friends and equals. Can we all be special at the same time? I believe the answer is yes, but in order to understand this we need to change our mindset toward both freedom and equality, toward both our uniqueness and toward our sameness, toward both our special qualities as well as our equality. By refusing to deny either aspect of our existence, we are better able to fulfill the complex desires we all have for respect and love and we are also better able to love and respect others.

So, how do we resolve this tension? First, we have to recognize that we were created with diverse personalities and interests and abilities in order to fit very specific and unique roles in God’s plan. We should not hide our lights under a bushel. We were created special, and if we can find the ways we have, in whatever aspect of life, a special calling and a special ability, we ought to be very proud of that and very open and honest about it. We should not pretend that everyone is the same–certainly I am more intellectual than many others, and a good deal worse at many other tasks, like repairing machinery or having fun. A lot of what makes us special is our different mixes of strengths and weaknesses, which make us the people we are, each of us special in our own way.

But at the same time, while we should all seek to find out how we are special and unique and where our talents and abilities lie so that we might be able to hone and control and develop those strengths and fulfill the purpose for which we were put on this earth, we cannot be so arrogant as to presume that our unique abilities absolve us of the need to respect others or to live under the same standards that everyone else does. This is all too common of an error, and one I must admit that I struggle with myself. We are all human beings, all under the authority of God and of His law, and all required to love others as ourselves and respect all people. Part of this respect is not viewing our own abilities or talents or offices, or those of others, as placing some above others in a hierarchy. Part of this respect is also not viewing our own weaknesses and shortcomings, or those of others, as placing some as unworthy of respect and honor or love.

And it is precisely this second aspect that is often denied when one looks at superhero movies (like the X-Men series) or the Harry Potter series, or the vast majority of those works which trumpet and glory in the specialness of some as opposed to others. Over and over again, those who are viewed as special tend to see themselves as a law unto themselves, freeing them from the normal restrictions on behavior. Again, I will wholeheartedly admit that this is a temptation that I struggle with myself. In order to preserve both equality and liberty we need to recognize that our uniqueness does not in any way deny our equality as human beings in the eyes of God, and of our worthiness for love and respect in the eyes of others. We may be treasured and appreciated for different qualities, but the duty to love and honor is not based on ability or talent, but is based on our identity as beings created in the image and likeness of God, something shared with all other human beings from the womb to the grave.

And so those who say that if everyone is special than no one is are incorrect because they view specialness as a positional good rather than as a statement of our unique blend of personality and abilities and talents over a wide spectrum. And likewise, those who view their specialness as giving them an exemption from the normal rules and standards that govern our conduct are also wrong, because those standards are not based on our talents and abilities and offices, but on our identity as human beings, which is an aspect of our equality with all other human beings. By recognizing and responding to our shared commitment to freedom and equality, we can recognize the true special qualities of all of the people around us while still loving and respecting them all as fellow human beings, allowing us to give and receive special credit for our unique blend of strengths and weaknesses as well as belong within the greater whole once we see how our particular part of God’s plan connects with that of others. Once this happens we can escape the dilemma between freedom and equality and find both aspects of what we desire for ourselves from others, the recognition of our uniqueness and special qualities as well as the felling that we love and belong with those around us for who we really and truly are.